So all the rage this time of year is the best of and worst of lists. So I'm going to contribute to that by listing my 10 best cases of 2009. No names or any real specifics will be discussed of course.
10) Battered Women's SyndromeThirty-something latina gets two counts of domestic violence. Some dump truck let her plea to a similar situation before (basically a shouting match with her boyfriend) so she's got a prior for DVs. Prosecutor threatens to take it to felony trial, and at the same time my office is leaning on me to settle anything that might be a felony (cuz, ya know, lord forbid the higher paid attorneys with more interesting cases actually fight any of them). This was the first case where I sort of shook my head and said 'No way, you're not pleading guilty' (she
wanted to).
The fact pattern and what she told me made it abundantly clear she was the victim in the relationship, not the man. The prosecutor continued their obnoxious threats and even filed a felony complaint. Then I filed the notice of defenses including battered women's syndrome and the felony got dropped before she was even arraigned on it.
Needless to say when the prosecutor tells dirtbag-boyfriend he's going to get cross examined on past incidents of domestic violence against my client he decides he doesn't want to show up anymore. Dismissed with prejudice by the judge, who seemed ready to barbecue the "victim" based on my pre-trial motions. This repeated itself several more times over the course of the year, the prosecutor never had the guts to actually fight me on one of these.
Made less satisfying by the fact that I couldn't convince her to leave him over it.
9) Standing up for the HomelessClient was...I don't know. I never met him. He was listed as a transient who had no address, phone number, social security number, or even a solid birthdate. He had no intention of ever showing up in court to face his charges. Yeah, right, like that's gonna stop me from representing him.
Dude was flat out harassed for being homeless. Police had no probable cause whatsoever to approach him and no reason to search him. After I grilled the cop at the evidentiary hearing the judge was glaring at him so harshly I thought the cop was going to be held in contempt. All evidence suppressed. Case dismissed.
8) Sheriffs Hide from a JuryResisting arrest and domestic violence charges filed against a gigantic Native American who is from a family with a notorious reputation. Dirty ass local sheriffs saw his name and decided he was resisting, tazed him, arrested him based on the uncorroborated testimony of a five year old girl that he was being mean to his wife (the girl's mom).
When the prosecutor realizes she has no case, she tells me she's going to 'let this one slide' and drops it. Then re-files felony resisting arrest and agg assault. The felony county attorney takes one look at the names of the officers involved and certifies it to a misdemeanor, knowing that the judge is very pro-sheriff.
Whups. That's a jury eligible offense. One jury demand and motion to compel the disciplinary records of the cops involved and the case gets dropped. I opposed the motion to dismiss without and the judge dismissed the case with prejudice.
7) The Horrific Kitten AbandonerA case more fit for the Hardy Boys than an attorney, client was a 40-something white man charged with animal abuse for leaving kittens in an alley.
This is not on the list because of the charge, it's on the list because I beat an eyewitness who swore up and down that he saw my client, and nobody but my client, abandon those kittens. Except my client had a brother, who looks just like him. Problem? He's on the run from the law.
Amazing luck then occurred as the brother got picked up a week before the trial. I get him transported before he gets sent to prison and under hostile witness examination he finally admits to the whole thing.
I also made the investigating officers and prosecutor look like idiots for insisting so strongly it was my client, and the civilian witness came up to me afterwards and apologized for being so insistent it was my guy.
And of course two months later the client (who is on felony probation of course) gets an Aggravated DUI and goes to prison for three years.
C'est la guerre.
6) The Joys of IAC
I hate appointed counsel that don't do their jobs. So when my office asked if I wanted to represent someone (middle aged junkie with meth charges) who our alternate defender had rolled over on I jumped at it. A successful petition for post-conviction relief got her right to appeal restored, a delayed appeal later and now I'm going to file another one for ineffective assistance of counsel at trial. This one is on-going, but it's going to feel good to nail those useless bitches to the wall.
5) The Impossible WinI mentioned this one in a recent post, client blew a .194 and I begged her to plea guilty because I was worried about the judge slamming her on sentencing for taking a frivolous case to trial. Early victory when I got a dismissal of a drug paraphernalia charge on a stretch of a
Mellendez-Diaz argument, but that charge was the least of my worries.
I still puzzle as to how I hung the jury on the extreme dui charge. But I know I would not have if I had taken an approach of 'meh, it's impossible to win' and just phoned it in. I went all out on cross-examination, attacking the machine, doing all I could to make my client look good and the state look sloppy, and somehow it was just enough to prevent a guilty verdict.
On sentencing, the judge had been prepared to give more than the minimum for the charge I beat and supervised probation, but I argued him down to 1/3 the minimum and unsupervised probation. I sort of felt bad because my client, who I told had no choice but to plea to 30 days and $2700+ in fines, walked with 8 days and $1500. But I felt great about hanging them on that one. The judge even mentioned when he assessed minimal attorney fees that it was based on her ability to pay, not on the job I did, which in his words if he calculated based on that would be several times the fine.
4) Making the State Break its Own RuleOur local prosecutors love to shrug their shoulders and say they cannot dismiss a DUI case. I've proven that wrong time and time again but none felt good as this one.
Client is an elderly white man who suffered from several degenerative nervous disorders. Cop (who apparently was having a nervous breakdown) dragged him out of the four wheeler he had passed out in and threw him on the ground, several times, yelling at him that he was faking and could do the field sobriety tests just fine.
Vehicle was inoperable, client had no working legs, several witnesses would say he wasn't driving even before the vehicle stalled. I gave the state a break and told them to dismiss it and gave a brief preview of all that I would be filing and included (just to be snarky) a list of the damages my client would seek in a civil suit if this went forward. Prosecutor on duty laughed and said 'no way, we'll never dismiss a DUI.'
A few days later he called me up to tell me it was being dropped. Client, a community-minded veteran who had no intention whatsoever of suing the local police, was pretty damn happy. This was a 'growing up' trial for me, I could have dragged the state through the mud but I went with what my client wanted and got it dropped before hand. Ah well, plenty of other opportunities to hog the spotlight.
3) An Ex-Cop Grants my Motion to SuppressOne of our stand-in judges is an ex police officer who has a reputation for never granting a defense motion. Like, ever. He's the guy who the other judges tap in to rule on motions that they cannot figure out a way to weasel out of granting. That is until this case.
Client was an elderly white man who got pulled over for 'speeding' and a lane violation that doesn't exist. Yes, the officer who made the stop made up a law on the spot to justify it. He fell back on saying they were speeding, even made snide comments to me before the hearing about all he had to do was say they were speeding and there wasn't a judge in the county who wouldn't let him make a stop based on that.
Perhaps he was a bit too smug. Or perhaps I had too many witnesses to the contrary. Or perhaps the moron never said they were speeding in his report and listed them as going the speed limit on the ticket he issued.
Judge's brow furrows and he tries as hard as he can to think of a reason to deny my motion, then shrugs and says granted and stalks off, furious. It's funny how the judges here don't even pretend to be impartial, even funnier when I force them to be fair.
2) Driving While BlackThis will shock anyone who reads it, but somehow the local pigs pulled over a black man and an arab driving on a remote stretch of road near the Utah border for no violation whatsoever. I know, that never happens, right!
This was the case where I filed the infamous Snuffleupagus motion. The state put on a three hour extravaganza where the prosecutor did all he could to manufacture probable cause. The racist idiot cops sat there looking frustrated and put out that someone had called them on their bullshit.
Judge tosses the case, my guy gets to keep his license and his weed (it was medical), and him and his friend sue the local police department for damage done to their car during the illegal search. They won that one too. I might have helped them with it. <.<
1) Make Out with the FlagWhen we did our trial training the guy who taught told us to always 'wrap yourself in the flag' during your closing - basically talk about how great America is for requiring reasonable doubt and high standards of proof from the state, make the jurors feel patriotic for voting not guilty.
This was the poster case for that sort of closing. My client is an elderly white man, extremely disabled due to an injury suffered in Desert Storm. Ex-Marine, great guy, great family, who made a mistake and drank a little too much before driving one night.
The case was
awful for the issue of impairment. He swerved all over the road, was rambling and incoherent with the police, and tearfully apologized for driving drunk at least
five times during the stop. His blow was fairly low, but still over the limit.
This case was all about the closing. I didn't just wrap myself in the flag, I made out with it. I told the jury all about his injuries (which were relevant, since it affected his performance on the field sobriety tests) and how he suffered them because of his duty to his country, then segued in the duty of the jurors, and how great America was because when a hero stands accused the decision to convict must be made by patriots. Half the jury was crying during my closing. The arresting officer shook my hand afterwards. Not guilty.
And those were the top ten cases of 2009! Hopefully next year's will be more interesting. And maybe I'll even keep track. I'm sure I forgot a few that were more interesting than some of these.
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